You can’t mix a recipe for a magical childhood, but…
you CAN support your children’s need for independent free play.
I’ve been reflecting on childhood and ‘play’ a lot lately. My own childhood, my children’s, all children…growing up in the city vs. the country or in a town, growing up now vs. 30 years ago, growing up in America vs. other places.
Most of my childhood playtime was unstructured, unsupervised, and outdoors. I didn’t have video games, or a computer, or a cell phone, though I do remember playing Atari a few times! I was pretty much free to roam the neighborhood and find something to do. I’d knock on friends doors unannounced to see if the could come out and play. We’d ride bikes, play in the woods (for hours!), build forts, play tag, hide & seek and clapping games (remember Ms. Mary Mack?!), we’d race each other (in the street!), find bugs and snakes, climb trees, swing from viens, play with dolls, we’d make up crazy games and crazy languages… We’d walk to the playground together, stop and buy gum on the way back, and only very occasionally did we get into mischief. We’d always come home before dark, albeit dirty, but feeling tire and very fulfilled. In a big way, childhood was magical… I knew about strangers and ‘kidnappers’, but had an overall feeling of trust in the world.
Things are different now. Children don’t get much unsupervised and unstructured playtime anymore. Now we arrange playdates for them, and schedule their life full of activities, lessons, sports, homework, and we fill the rest with STUFF, stuff that programs our children to think and play and act a certain way. They don’t get very much time outside in nature to just explore on their own, and tend to want to spend their free time ‘plugged in’…and consequently, tuned out. Parent’s feel the need to keep their children in sight at all times, for fear that something may happen to them. I understand the feeling all too well, but really wonder about the adverse effects of this on our children…and if it’s really worth it.
My husband is a history teacher at Wissahickon Charter School. His middle school students have been studying the history of ‘play’ in America. Through him I learned that unstructured play is actually essential to children’s growth. A simple google search will uncover many articles like this one, on how important unstructured play really is. Not only does it help them socially, but it also develops their self-reliance and ability to solve problems, among many other things. Play is actually not just important for children, but it’s important for adults too! It makes us feel alive and relieves stress, and helps us feel connected with others and the world around us.
When I look at my own children, I know I need to pay attention to this. We live in the city, in a very ‘urban’ neighborhood. It’s soooo easy to feel caught in the fears of what might happen. Perhaps parents in urban areas face different challenges than our suburban counterparts, but nevertheless, it’s equally important to support our children’s needs for independent free play, especially outdoors. This doesn’t mean that we make decisions that put our children’s safety at risk, just that our ‘fear’ of something happening doesn’t become too big for it’s britches!
Check out these resources for inspiration:
Schuylkill Center for Environmental Education
Do you know of other sites? Please share! There is SO much more to explore about this and I would love to have a discussion and exchange ideas.
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